November 20, 2017

Grief, From An Old Mans Perspective

This was shared recently on a forum dealing with the loss of a loved one. I do not know the original poster or the respondent whose words I copy here, however the sentiment and the truth in this response shows a caring person with a great perspective on living, loving, and memories.

 

I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not.

I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents…

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. But I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to “not matter”. I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it.

Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too.

If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

 

I Love this and hope it helps you deal with your own loss

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Why would you want to be any other way?

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Well for those like me that had never heard the expression before,
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Create Your Own Reality

creation storyA Part of The Story Of Creation From The Sioux Nation

 CREATION

The Creator gathered all of Creation and said, “I want to hide something from the humans until they are ready for it. It is the realization that they create their own reality.”

The Eagle said, “Give it to me, I will take it to the moon.”

The Creator said, “No. One day they will go there and find it.”

The Salmon said, “I will bury it on the bottom of the ocean.”

“No. They will go there too.”

The Buffalo said, “I will bury it on the Great Plains.”

The Creator said, “They will cut into the skin of the Earth and find it even there.”

Grandmother Mole, who lives in the breast of Mother Earth, and who has no physical eyes but sees with spiritual eyes, said, “Put it inside of them.”

And the Creator said, “It is done.”

via C Steve Greenhalgh.

 

I found this on face book the other day, and was captivated.

A people with no written history, only a traditional oral history, had a story of creation that showed that  humans all have the ability To Create your Own Reality, it is the finding of it, within us, that is so often the problem.

I have always loved the gentleness of the Native Americans, portrayed for so long as barbaric marauders, by the greedy incomer, and yet so in tune with their environment. In balance with the Earth, they had no need to be aggressive… Their warlike persona was created within them by the circumstance of being invaded!

However this is not a paper on  the proud history of The Native American Indian peoples, but a reflection on our own ability and That you can create your own reality.

But I would like to say thank you to The  Dancing Moccasins “Community Page”, for the insights they have shared.

So  how do you create your own reality? How do you find the ability buried within each of us, that seed of greatness, that so often shines through in times of great need or danger.

Do You have to be Superman?

supermanNo Of course you don't…. That would be just too easy, if you suddenly had superpowers thrust upon you and everything became easy, there would be very little superhuman effort involved, just a power. Our Gift is so much greater, we all have it, and we can all access it, you don't need to be from another planet, just this one, with a vision of how you want your life to be and determination to see it through…

You Have To Want To Really Want To.

Having the vision is one thing, developing the belief that it is achievable and you can do it and nurturing that belief long enough to see the whole thing through is a big ask. but certainly one that we are capable of achieving.

So Have you got your cape?

We Talked about the Faith and about The Vision, and we have gone over Goal Setting.

So Now what you need to do is believe that you have the seeds of greatness in you, you have the power in your own hands to Create your own reality…don't live in some one else Nightmare that has been built around you , that you have allowed to be built around you…

Take the Bull by The Horns, Stand up and be counted and Take Action .

Remember you do not need to be one of the Incredibles… they aren't real!

 

You Are real… now, it is time to create your own reality.

I Know you can…..come on

Ready To Charge?

Take Care

create your own reality

create your own reality

I Will Match Your Pace Till You are Up and Running

Thanks To

That Fatal Mistake

That Fatal Mistake? Not sticking to your routine… I have my daily routine really well established, and I stick to it rigidly … ( well normally)

Briefly it is something like this…

up at 05.00, glass of water 15 minutes easy rowing on the machine, just to wake up and get going.

Turn on computer and go to Dashboard and create New Blog.

Circulate that blog and post around all relevant sites.

Every Third day, post via Viral Url

Set up 1 free local Add

Check all banner add campaigns.

and Last, Go to inbox, and check face book… now bear in mind I go to face book to distribute the blog and the Red flags saying Look at me are often tempting… but I know if I go and open them the other stuff wont get done as I have to go to work at 8.00

So for some reason This morning I veered off track, went straight to the Six Figure Mentors – Community answered a couple of questions, swerved off to my Gmail account and then its 07.55 and here I am struggling to write this… no breakfast, not dressed… ARghhhhhhh

Where has all that time gone… Oh I've been busy… Oh Yes…. I have opened some emails … I have set up a couple of traffic building site accounts, ( I think…) managed to NOT spend any money, well 10 bucks on a 1000 random emails… and nearly spent a whole lot more on list builders are us various… without any diligent research…. just sucked in down the screen with no thought care or anything…. Traffic zipper looks great… but you have to be a member of at least 5 sites like Viral URL, there are no guarantees… and you could spend thousands joining the same persons list 5 or 6 times….

And where did all the time go….

 

I'll catch up later

 

Just remember are habits form us and we all need to form good habits!

mass distraction

No wonder they call it distraction Marketing!

 

 

Go On Do yourself a massive favour And check out your future

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